LA Police Chief’s Mustache Honored At Art Gala

 

Downtown LA–  Los Angeles Police Chief Charlie Beck’s mustache, “Shirley,” was honored last night at the Museum of Contemporary Art’s annual gala dinner. Calling Shirley a treasured work of art, the Director of MOCA, Phillipe Vergne, tearfully described the stache’s influence on contemporary art and even the modern hipster movement.

“We haven’t seen this kind of artistic and spiritual brilliance since Andy Warhol filmed supermodels eating a hamburger,” Vergne said to the visibly moved crowd before he had to be escorted off stage for being overwhelmed with emotion.

This was not Shirley’s first brush with recognition. She was originally asked to star in the pilot episode of “Cops,” and was single-handedly credited with creating its theme song, “bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when we come for you?” as she spontaneously sang the song while her co-star Beck helped her capture a criminal.

Shirley’s accolades do not stop as art masterpiece or pop culture genius, however. She is also a noted cultural philanthropist, having inspired an entire generation of young men–and a few brave women–to dawn hipster facial beards.

A follow up story will be published on the LA Police Chief’s muse in the coming weeks. In the meantime, please use the Twitter hashtag #ImwithShirley to show your appreciation for this modern icon’s influence on your life and social identity.

#ShirleyUSeeMe #ShirleyUKnowMe

Political Satire by Robert Carpenter